i'm sitting at a friends house for lunch. he's a coworker of mine, whose recently become a really close friend. he came out to me that he was gay about a week ago, after knowing him for a year, and he's really become comfortable sharing that aspect of his life with me. we've hung out alot, and i've seen a completely different side of him. i see a gentle, loving and caring guy, and its nice to see that his boyfriend cares for him just as much. i've never really been friends with a gay couple before, it sure is a cool experience. we went out a couple of nights ago, and the gay bars are so different. its not the hetero "meat market" i'm used to, its a nice change.

endless things are running through my head, i'm having a lot of people over sunday night to hang out, its my first party since i've been living alone. i need to finish painting my livingroom before people come over. i've never been able to have "people come over to hang out" before, so this will be a first for me. i've always been embarrased to have people see where i live, i'm not sure why, my house is cute, its small, but cute. i just have this dream to have a big house and have it decorated nice and want people to see it, and not have to worry about someone randomly showing up and seeing what i live in.

work is going alot better fo me, i'm actually going to win a prize this month, its either an ipod or airline tickets. hopefully i get the tickets, i'd love to use them ot see gareth, or give them to him to fly here. i miss him terribly, i wish we weren't so far apart :( hopefully this time next year, we'll be together.

angels brought me here

It's been a long and winding journey
But I'm finally here tonight
Picking up the pieces
Walking back into the light
To the sunset of your glory
Where my heart and future lies
There's nothing like that feeling
When I look into your eyes

My dreams came true
When I found you
I found you
My miracle

If you could see what I see
You're the answer to my prayers
And if you can feel
The tenderness I feel
You would know
It would be clear
That angels brought me here

Standing here before you
Feels like I've been born again
Every breath is your love
Every heartbeat speaks your name

good times..

You Know You're From Quad Cities When...

You know what the phone number is for "Car Dead Call Fred"! You refer to the Mississippi River as "The River" You have to watch the paper to see which bridge would be best to get across "The River", since they are all are being worked on You know that Joes, Franks, Shortys, Clints, and Nancy's are not names, but pizza places You know that Whities is an Ice Cream place, not a racial term You know that South Park is the name of a mall, not a television show You know that Daisy Dooks is off of I-280, not a character on a television show You know that Tuxedos is not a place you rent one from You will stand in line for over an hour to buy "sculpted concrete" You know that Milan is not pronounced like the one that is the fashion capital of the world You know that "Magic Mountain" refers to a meal, not an amusement park ride You use the term "Palmer" as a familiar landmark You don't crash into a low clearance bridge driving on Brady or Harrison street You know that pork is THE white meat, not THE OTHER white meat You have used the phrase, "stupid Iowan" or "go back to Illinois"! You have to dial long distance to call someone within sight across the river, but dial a local number for someone twenty minutes away You know that the coming of spring mean that the Rock River WILL flood. Your house WILL be under water, and you're ok with it. You measure distance in minutes, not in miles You know what Taco Pizza is You THINK you know what four cities make up the Quad Cities. No one really knows. You know what Evel Knievel sounds like when he's mad You hear someone say, "I'm on Kimberly" and you do not think it is something sexual You can pay $14 for a round of golf You know that the Slider run refers to getting burgers, not to running a race You cannot see a White Castle restaurant for hours You can name 2 dorks! You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Quad Cities.

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Misako Anenokoji

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Doña Ana

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Andrea's Star Wars Name: Andsc Comol Andrea's Star Wars Title: Rekcho of Rebma

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50 questions

1. What is your name? Andrea Carolyn Schoemaker
2. What color underwear are you wearing now? lilac
3. What are you listening to right now? Jack Johnson
4. What are the last 2 digits of your phone number? 53
5. What was the last thing you ate? cheese
6. If you were a crayon what color would you be? red
7. How is the weather right now? 72 degrees
8. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? Amber
9. The first thing you notice about the opposite/same sex? facial expression
10. Favorite Food? my high school pizza
11. Favorite Drink? diet mt. dew
13. Favorite place to shop? Lane Bryant
14. Hair color: Blonde
15. Eye Color: Blue
16. Do you wear contacts? Yes
17. BEST FRIEND(s)?? Amber & Sara
18. Favorite Month? June
19. Favorite Fast Food? Uncle Pete's (greek)
20. Last Movie you Watched? Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
21. Favorite Day of the Year? Christmas
22. Are you too shy to ask someone out? No
23. Summer or Winter? Summer
24. Hugs or Kisses? Kisses
25. Chocolate or Vanilla? Chocolate
26. Do you want your friends to respond back? Sure
27. Who is most likely to respond? Amber
28. Who is least likely to respond? not sure
29. What books are you reading? Nicholas Sparks
30. Piercings? Yes - ears
31. Fav. Movie? The Notebook
32. Fav. Team? um..
33. Fav. Hangout? my crib
34. Any Pets? Dog - Mikey
35. AIM or MSN? MSN
36. Butter, Plain or Salted popcorn? Butter!
37. Dogs or cats? Dogs
38. Favorite Flower? Tulip
39. What do you say when you wake up in the A.M.? nothing, i slap the snooze button about 50 times
40. Do you still talk to your best friends from intermediate school? Yep
41. What's on your desk? dvdr's, air freshener, cigarettes, peach schnapps, my favorite song i typed out and framed
42. Rock Concert or symphony? Concert
43. Play or Opera? Play
44. Have you ever fired a gun? Yep (my daddy is the biggest red-neck you'll ever meet)
45. Do you like to travel by plane? Yep
46. Right-handed or Left-handed? Right-handed
47. Smooth or Chunky Peanut Butter? Smooth
48. How many pillows do you sleep with? 6
49. City and State you were born in? Moline, IL
50. Ever hitchhiked? Nope

alone

i'm starting to come down from my high, i'm feeling incredeibly lonely. it was nice being by myself and finding who i was hiding inside of this body for some time, but now, i feel lost again. i left a part of me in canada, for someone else to keep until we are able to share it together. every morning i wake up and wish i could see a completely different atmosphere, another world, sharing it with another person. it hurts greatly to have this feeling....and there is nothing that can change that right now, no matter how bad i want it to change.
i've never felt this way before about someone. such a need to be near them, hear his voice, touch his face, see him from across a room. i don't know for sure when i'll be able to see gareth, i hope in july if we can figure it out. i wish it was tomorrow. i look at our pictures we took together 2 weekends ago, and it seems like only yesterday i could feel his arms around me. then i realize how far away he is, and wonder if he looks up at the sky like i do and sees the same moon that i see.
i am truly in love, and i know now what love is about. its having such an emotional attachment for someone, so unconditionally, passionately, and caring that nothing else matters. as crazy as it sounds, i want to share everything with him. it freaks me out how much i think about him, which is basically 24/7, and i have to talk myself down so i don't get upset that i can't be near him.
i know this will be a long process, its the waiting that is the hardest. i know i'm meant to be with him. i dream of us living together, eating dinner together, coming home and asking if he would like to watch a movie, sitting in our computer room together working on our own things...just being "together." we talk about our future, and it sounds so amazing, and so right.
here's what i love about gareth:
the way his dimples crease on his face when he smiles, the way he smiled at me during our first date, how patient he is with me when i get ready to go out, how much he loves his animals, when i hold his hand, the way he switches the grip so our fingers intertwine perfectly, when he looks at me my heart melts, the way he gently touches my face when he kisses me, how sensitive and caring he is, the way he talks to strangers with such compassion, how proud he was to speak to my parents, how important making decisions to better his life are to him, the fact that he has a close relationship with his family...do i need to go on? this guy is amazing. have i mentioned how much in love with him i am?

fate vs destiny

my apologies for not blogging lately. i've been in la la land for the last week. its 5am on a thursday morning, can't sleep...wishing I was somewhere else..
ok..so, i've officially met the man of my dreams. seriously. no foo foo "i wish i could be with someone so i'll settle for him" kind of stuff, this is straight up everything i need from a man to share my life with. I really need to introduce him so I can stop referring to "him" in my blogs. His name is Gareth.
Fate #1: This whole relationship began about 7 years ago, when we first met without knowing it was him. damn, i said "him," however it was a valid place to say "him" so its ok :D I played Quake against him every wednesday night. We met on IRC in a chatroom 7 years later by my friend Amber messaging me and saying..."dude you totally need to talk to this guy he is so your type!" I laughed it off and apparently he got the same message from her, so we started to talk. We eventually ended up webcamming eachother, and I immediately felt something different about the situation. The moment he said his name was Gareth, I knew I'd fall for this guy. Every night since then, we ended up talking on the phone for at least 8 hours a day, sometimes 12-14 hours.
Fate #2: Gareth lives in Victoria, BC Canada, of which is my ABSOLUTE favorite place I've ever been. I told my mom 8 years ago when I first was there, "that place is my heaven," and when he said that is where he lived, I about died!
Fate #3: hmm, about 18 years ago, a psychic told me that the name, "Barry," would be of great importance in my life. I've only known 2 Barry's in my life since, one is a close family friend, the other someone I went to school with. Amber talks on IRC to someone named Barry, which ended up being one of Gareth's best friends, which is how Amber met up with Gareth in the first place, sees Gareth on cam, messages me, and thats how it begins.
When you talk with someone on IRC, its so hard to explain to someone who has never done it how much you learn about someone. I fell in love with Gareth after only a few days of talking with him, and the feeling was mutual on his end. We text messaged eachother daily from work, emailed nonstop like crazy, and I found myself taking mad pictures every single day, just because I wanted to share what my eyes see everyday. I came to realize, I want to share my entire life with Gareth. Everynight, we'd fall asleep with our phones laying under our ear, so we could hear eachother sleep, I'd wake up just to see him on cam laying there, wishing I could be laying next to him. I had a crappy webcam, so one night I went and bought a really nice one. so my surprise, it had a built in microphone and was SO much clearer. since it had a microphone built in, we stopped using the phones and just voice chatted with the cams.
After only talking to Gareth for a week, I knew I had to meet him. We worked out a plan for me to visit Victoria, however it was over 3 weeks away due to my work schedule. With my plane tickets purchased, I never wanted 3 weeks to come any sooner. I was so anxious to meet this person that I've been so intrigued by. I knew by the pictures he sent to me, I'd totally be into him, however, the way he looked didn't matter to me, I loved Gareth as a person.
two days until my trip, gareth calls my parents. this totally blew me away, for him to care enough and be genuinely concerned about how my parents felt about me flying to canada to spend a weekend with someone I've never met, completely impressed me, and my parents as well.
the day before I am due to leave, I can't even function. i'm so excited/nervous my stomach is in knots and i can't concentrate on anything. so this is an intro to the rest of my blog i'm sure. Gareth is going to take up alot of my further thoughts, I'll save my trip for the next blog ;)