ahhhhhhhhhh

today is my first visit with a new psychiatrist. this is always nerve racking for me because i don't do well expressing my feelings to strangers, i always like to sugar coat things and make them see not so bad so that i don't feel like they can judge me. today i'm starting over, i'm letting everything out, and i'm scared of that, because i've NEVER been able to do it, and i'm worried what's gonna come out of my mouth. ok time to go smoke....we'll see how today goes.