ugh.

i hear my podmate, Missy, whisper to me while I'm on the phone this morning..."hey andrea!", and I look over to her, and she's holding up a piece of paper in pink writing..."it's a girl!" as the customer in my ear keeps talking, i'm not listening, and i start to daze. i put on the smile as if i'm thrilled for her, and do the "oh my god!" mouth movement. i desperately want to be a mother, i miss having children around. i feel very selfish faking my happiness, but its my time, i need to be a mom, and i can't.